| March 2010 QUIET MOMENTS
By Archer Di Peppe
Pitter and Patter
(7:15 a.m. Thursday morning. The dogs are hiding.)
Me (a.k.a. PopPop): Where are the dogs?
Mimi (Robin): They’re hiding.
Me: I know. I want to hide with them.
(pitter patter, pitter patter, pitter patter up the hall)
Crickren (Christian): I can’t drink out of this glass. It has a scratch on it. (hands me glass)
Me: Try. (I try to hand glass back, but I am too late.)
Crickren: Nooooooooooooo.
(pitter patter, pitter patter, pitter patter down the hall)
Mimi: Hay’s shirt is inside out.
Me: That’s nothing. Her underwear is inside out and backwards. Hay, will you pleeeease let me help you with that?
Hay (Haliegh): I do it. (second bedroom door slams)
Me: Quit slammin’ doors! Don’t lock that door. I said “DON’T LOCK THE DOOR!” Last week you guys locked yourselves in the back bathroom, and it took us ten minutes to get you out. I thought Mimi was going to
have a stroke. While you’re in there, put your clothes on right.
Hay: Nooooooooooo.
Me: LISTEN TO ME!! (door swings open with Hay chasing Crickren into our bedroom and onto the bed)
Mimi: What do you expect? He’s five, and she’s barely three.
Crickren: (screaming like a banshee) TELL HAY TO STOP HITTING ME!!!!
Mimi: Hay, stop hitting your brother.
Hay: He hit me first !
Crickren: Her bein bad. (finger pointing and big frown)
Me: (I sit on the bed and stare into the distance.) What is this wet stuff that I just sat in?
Mimi: You’d better ask the grandkids that one.
Me: There are just some things that I don’t really want to know.
Hay: (with big smile) A-p-p-l-e juice!
Mimi: Just pull the sheets off the bed, and I will wash them. You need to change your pants. (Crickren proudly lifts his shirt up to his head)
Me: It’s a strange world where you Thank God you only sat in apple juice. What are those black marks all over the kids?
Mimi: They found a black magic marker and decided to give each other homemade tattoos. I think they were watching National Geographic. I told you that you better go look for them when they’re being quiet.
Me: It’s a terrible thing when you can’t even trust National Geographic. Is it too cold to take them out in the backyard and hose them off?
Mimi: It’s February. You promised them you would make pigs in a blanket for lunch.
Me: They just want to taunt me. He will pick all the crescent roll off and eat the hot dog and she will eat all the bread and won’t touch the hot dog. What time is it?
Mimi: Seven thirty.
Me: Where are the dogs?
Mimi: They’re still hiding.
Arch Di Peppe went into hiding shortly after and has not been seen since. |
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